Jun. 23rd, 2010

wlotus: (Deep Thoughts)
It is challenging to balance my understandable dread of inevitably losing more loved ones (particularly T) with making the most of each and every moment I have with them. Right now I feel more of the fear than anything else.

When I was unhappily single and happily coupled people did not seem to have much compassion for the pain some single people felt, I would remind them that being coupled means that unless you die first, you will be single at some point in the future. With that in mind, I'd encourage them to both make the most of their partner's presence and have compassion for those who were unhappily single. Because when they become suddenly single they'd want someone to have compassion for them.

For the past month I have felt inspired to make the most of each moment with my loved ones. My challenge now that I have lost my uncle in this manner is not letting my mindfulness be overwhelmed by fear of loss. I want to be mindful, not clingy and afraid of every sneeze or cough or stumble or moment of silence from T.

It ain't easy.

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wlotus

October 2010

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