wlotus | It Comes Down to Two Words

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It Comes Down to Two Words

I have tried, for several days, to find a word that best describes how I feel about this year's presidential election cycle...rather, to find the words that most politely describe my feelings and will not burn bridges between me and people whose friendships I wish to retain. After a lot of private venting and after reading the public blog of a Christian who chooses not to participate in the voting process due to the power imbalance it perpetuates--this person cannot, in good conscience, participate in a process which demands someone must lose and be forced to endure a legislature they find untenable--I have come up with two words.

Betrayed.
Invisible.

When the election odyssey started, my research started. I listened to the mainstream media. I listened to first-hand accounts of people's experiences. I listened to the candidates. I listened to people's opinions. I began to see a very different story was happening on the ground than what was being reported in the media. There was a lot of fraud and race-baiting happening from the camp of the now president-elect. There was a lot of mockery from his supporters. There was resistance to the truth. I do not know why the mainstream media failed to report on these things that people saw and experienced with their own eyes. But I know I spread the word, sometimes passionately. I posted about these things here and usually did not allow dissenting discussion, as that only served to perpetuate the half-truths the media was telling and obscure the fact that things were not as many people believed them to be.

For my efforts I was called an uninformed liar. I was called bitterly paranoid and close-minded. I was told to grow up. I was told to filter my political posts rather than keeping them public--my blog was a way for me to share many aspects of my life, not just politics--and when I refused, I lost readers, some of whom called themselves friends. It was so important to them that they not be exposed to the truths I told that they were willing to entirely walk away from the venue by which I shared my life with them, rather than merely skipping the political posts the way I skipped political posts I did not agree with. It hurt, but I continued to put the truth out there, sure it would help people make the right decision. And in the end, the country voted into office the very person who had lied and cheated to get the Democratic nomination. My words and the words of many like me did not matter to those people, except as something to complain and joke about. To say I feel "betrayed" by their decision (some of whom started out in the same camp) is a polite understatement, but in the interest of not burning bridges, it is the best I can do.

Now I feel, for the most part, invisible. (That is, when I am not being targeted as an object of angry derision.) I grew up in an environment where I was shown and told my views did not matter and would not be considered, even if the outcome of others' decisions directly affected me. This feels like more of the same. The media ignored me. Some folks who called themselves my friends ignored me. They are going on with their celebrations without any concern for the warnings folks like me gave them. It is as though we and our warnings do not exist. The outcome of the 2000 and 2004 elections affected me in exactly the same way, with one exception: the bulk of my friends and associates felt as I did. Back then I had them to mourn with me. Now I mourn alone or amongst near-strangers.

So now I wonder why should I bother participating in the election process. It has been a long time since I have felt my vote matters. This will be the third consecutive administration which is opposed to my concerns. Adding insult to injury is the fact this administration will come from the party I used to believe represented me and my ideals. I am reading the posts of a Christian who chooses not to participate in the voting process, and I will read the various reference materials this person has compiled of like-minded thinkers. Part of me does not want to take that road; as an African-American and a woman, I am aware many people suffered a lot of pain and indignity and even gave their lives just for me to have that right to vote, today. As someone who has gained more respect for the role third parties play in our political system, I am aware supporting them often forces the two major parties to address concerns they would otherwise ignore, and failing to support them insures the political landscape will remain bipolar. But at least on the national scale, it is obvious my views and my vote do not make a bit of difference in the outcome of things. So why should I bother?

I do not yet have the answer to that question, but I will return to it in the years to come.

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I am ever so grateful to have a friend (in rl or lj) like you that stays true to their convictions. There came a time that we were in different places with the election, but reading your posts kept me in a "real" place. I discovered I could support the candidate without giving my emotion over to him, the party or the process. I still feel like my candidate and, thus my vote, were not really part of the process. You are a smart woman...your words mattered more to me than I can say. Thanks for continuing to let me read them even though we may not completely agree on the political outcome.
For me it is now a process of moving on and moving forward. I've decided to place my efforts elsewhere, I just need to figure out the "where."
Hang in there.

I've been thinking about you these past few days, very aware of your absence from LJ and guessing that the last week must have been very painful for you.

I don't know what I can offer in response to what you express here except my continuing friendship and my respect for your beliefs, your grief, and your anger, despite our differences.

I really could not express how I feel better than the above comment. I've thought about how this must have affected you. I'm aware that this is your safe place to express your anger and frustration at the election. Despite that I may not share your views exactly, I respect yours, and that this is your place to vent without wanting debate. I absolutely do not and would not judge your beliefs as paranoid or invalid, and I hope you haven't completely lost your faith in your right to express your opinion here, and that you know that there are those of us who appreciate your voice.

Thank you.

For the forseeable future I do not intend to be present on most of LJ.

Your presence here will be missed.
Hopefully we can keep in touch by email. . . ?

I am always happy to receive emails from you!

This saddens me, as I always enjoy reading your thoughts and your notes on your journey of self-discovery, but I respect your decision and the needs that drive it. I hope that you'll come back whenif you feel ready, and that you'll be in touch in the meantime (you still have my email address, no?)

I sure do! :-)

Yeah, if the Green party runs candidates in any race I will vote for that candidate from now on. The Green Party platform is what the liberal wing of Democratic party used to stand for. Now it's only a few like Hillary and Shelia Jackson-Lee who uphold those tennets. Heck, I'll even vote for Socialist candidates- as long as they aren't fake ones like Ayers.

I wonder just how married Hillary is the Democratic Party. After all, she stumped a lot for that one, and she urged her supporters to also support him. Some of her supporters say she did that only because she was trying to save her career. But was she really? I don't know, anymore.

She let me down by supporting him, after the dishonest way he stole the nomination from her. Why on earth would she work for him and the party, if she didn't believe in him and the party? And why on earth would she believe in the party?

Don't get me wrong: I still have respect for her and believe she was, by the far, the most qualified person of any of the Democratic of Republican contenders this election cycle. But I am not so sure she was as reluctant in her stumping for that one as some of us like to believe.

It's just like the situation a woman in an abusive relationship is in. It makes me sad for Hillary, but I'm hoping she can fight her way back up again, when the Obama glorification wears off. If you looked closely at her face when she was doing those rallies for Obama you could see the pain in her eyes, those smiles didn't get there. It was a completely different Hillary you saw when she stumped for candidates that had backed her in the primaries, like Lunsford here in Kentucky. She and Bill came back to Kentucky numerous times to stump for him. You could see the enthusiasm radiating from both of them during those appearences. Bill would always inject a little something in those rally appearences he had to make for Obama that showed a bit of the reality that Obama was trying to hide from everyone. Neither Bill or Hillary ever said one negative word about Dem voters that choose to vote for other candidates, both Bill and Hillary made postive comments about Sarah Palin, and kept any criticism to what it should have been- being to in line with continuing the Bush policies. Sadly, I seriously doubt Hillary will ever run for President again. I fully believe Hillary was threatened by the Obama and the DNC if she and Bill didn't campaign for Obama they'd smear her the same way and run someone against her who would get tons of money from the DNC when her Senate seat comes back up for reelection- in 2012. We know the DNC did that against Cynthia McKinney. Stephanie Tubb-Jones (who we've sadly lost) and Shelia Jackson-Lee, two African American congresswomen reported that the Obama campaign were threatening them with that. Both refused to give up support for Hillary until she suspended her campaign, and even then both were lukewarm toward Obama.

Had Hillary had this happen to her in her early 40's rather than her early 60's she might have been more likely to tell them to go take a long walk off a short pier. For a political woman, especially, once you hit your 60's they start pressuring you to retire. Politics is still an incredibly sexist part of our culture.

I also believe it would be difficult for Senator Clinton to ever run again, and I would not be the least bit surprised if her career has been threatened by the party she insists on remaining loyal to. After what I learned during the primary season, very little surprises me.

I am reading Benazir Bhutto's autobiography Daughter of Destiny. She talks about how she was idealistic and too naive to realize just how crooked the leaders of the coup were when they took over Pakistan and abolished her father's democratic government. She learned the hard way. So have I.

*HUGZ*

In 18 years I've not once voted for a party that ended up being in government, and only once for a president that did get elected, but the presidency here is mainly decorative, and I didn't feel very strong about him and only voted for him instead of the Green or Liberal party candidate because I wanted to prevent the conservative candidate. I still vote every time, and always will.

My answer to the the question of why I should bother is the one that's been drilled into me by my father who was born in 1933, the year Austro-fascism abolished democracy here, five years before Hitler, and grew up under the Nazis - because the alternative to democracy, which, yes, is often clumsy, unfair, frustrating and not ideal, is always worse. Vote blank, if you can't endorse any of the parties or candidates, but vote. Please.

It isn't about my candidate winning or losing. (http://wlotus.livejournal.com/1187060.html?thread=5209076#t5209076)

I have not decided to utterly withdraw from the political process; as a woman and African-American, I need to think long and hard before making that choice. But I cannot promise I will or will not ever vote again. I can only promise that, just as I did when choosing how to vote for this election, I will study the issues in the less-publicized side in order to make an informed decision, rather than deciding based purely on the majority opinion ("Vote, or you don't have the right to complain!").

I voted on only one issue this time--I voted "no" on CA's Proposition 8. I felt so disenfranchised I left the rest of the ballot blank.

In the future, I may take the same route.

Actually, your single vote makes more difference than you might think.

The margin of victory in presidential elections is typically pretty small--Obama beat McCain with 52% of the popular vote to McCain's 48%, and in some states, the margin was razor thin. Here in Missouri, McCain won by 6000 votes. In North Carolina, Obama won by about 12000 votes. And over in the Minnesota senate race, Norm Coleman is ahead of Al Franken by less than 200 votes.

Choosing a candidate is an exercise in satisficing (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satisficing); no candidate for anything ever perfectly fits your views, and even if one did, odds are that some of the things you would like are politically untenable. You always have to strike a balance between a candidate you agree with and a set of policies that can actually be enacted. (And once elected, the politicians have to do this, too, like when Bill Clinton tried and failed to get universal health care enacted back in his first term.)

Anyway, the day when any third party candidate can win at the national level is far away at best. However, if a third party followed a model of focusing primarily on local and state elections, they could theoretically start winning county offices or seats in the state legislature, and if they did a good job of governing from there, they could eventually work their way up.

It isn't so much about who wins or loses. (http://wlotus.livejournal.com/1187060.html?thread=5209076#t5209076)

I'm curious if/how your feelings would differ if McCain had won. Are you "only" mourning the way this election cycle (and the current state of the electoral system) has gone in general, or are you also mourning that within the existing two-party system, the candidate you preferred (if you did prefer McCain) did not win?

I am mourning a loss of faith in the Democratic Party, a party I used to (naively, it seems) believe was above the kind of crooked politics I witnessed in the way the now president-elect was given the party nomination. If McCain had won, I would have felt that the Democratic Party would have gotten the just reward for crooked politics. As things turned out, they have received a mandate that says crooked politics are okay, so long as a Democrat is in office.

I am mourning the loss of a sense of community here. As I said, after the Bush wins, I mourned amongst my readership. Now I mourn alone or amongst near-strangers elsewhere.

I am also mourning the loss of my faith in humanity. I am an idealist who believes truth will prevail and crookedness will be punished. When reality flies in the face of my ideals, it takes me awhile to regroup.

I guess I feel that there has always been a bit of crooked politics in the nominations. It's somewhat expected, when you're dealing with a position of such power. I'm not sure if that makes it "okay", but perhaps I just find myself looking at it more... realistically, rather than idealistically. I don't think Obama is as clean and pristine as the mainstream has presented him (depending on which mainstream you listen to). I don't think he's the root of evil, oppression, or even sexism.

That said, I voted for Hillary because, like you, I believed she was the most experienced. However, I know that Obama swept the NC primary because SO MANY PEOPLE (Dixiecrats) hated Hillary, and so many people felt that if Hillary had faced off against McCain, we'd be facing a Republican presidency. So, I know people who thought that Hillary was TOTALLY QUALIFIED, and yet voted against her because they did not feel she would be ultimately electable. I did and did not see the sexism in that - it depended on who I talked to. For me, I voted for her because I wanted my voice to be heard. It was not the majority voice, and I accepted that, without so much grace. Obviously, I learned what I could about Obama, until I felt more comfortable with him. And I even have come to like him, in the past few months. I realize that you do not, but I do not respect you any less - we all come from this at different angles.

I can only say this: I have never felt as if my vote "counted" until this year. This is because I was a blue fish swimming against a current of red. Since before I was born. And when I saw the way the party was motivated in my state, the ground troops, and the people willing sit down and discuss with me his plan - and I felt like I was actually a part of a democracy. As if the system might work.

I know that in future years, it may again be that I am a blue fish swimming against a sea of red. Or if my politics change, a green fish against a sea of blue - and I may feel that my vote has not "counted".

But it does. In fact, I would say that your voice has been much stronger than my own. You have written letters and faced more politically scrutiny, but you have held true to your beliefs throughout. For me, I am still growing and learning, and much of this election was, for me, learning and solidifying my political beliefs. So I appreciate your posts, even when I found myself troubled by them. But what kind of person would I be, if I didn't question myself or my political beliefs?

I know it's probably been a hard week for you. I still love and respect you, even when we disagree. I do hope that you will feel better about this election in the coming months..I hope that perhaps the party shows you a better side - after all, a party is only composed of the people that make it up. But if it does not, I hope that you will continue to raise your voice. If nothing else, challenging the ranks forces the issues out onto the table - the Democratic party will have to answer for it's slyness at some point, as the Republicans have had to answer for their negligence in this past week.

I understand your feelings. Unfortunately, it's rare that a less-popular opinion gets a lot of support. That's where your faith in yourself has to be enough to carry you through.

Sometimes, I am the unpopular voice (at work, or in my condo association, etc.) and I have to either decide to speak up (and be shot down), or just ignore it, if I don't have the energy, or if I know it's a done deal.

If I were you, I would try to focus my attention upon things that I still DO have faith in, so as not to be overly bummed out. You can make a difference in some area that matters.

I have been thinking about you a lot for the past several days, because I know I am one of those you refer to in this post, and I understood how bitterly disappointed you were, and why. The ultimate question of how to vote was something I struggled long and hard with, and your words were among those that I considered while trying to figure out how to vote in a way I could live with.

But I'm not here to take up your space in trying to explain or justify my vote. I just want to say that I'm sorry your considerations and choices were met with ridicule and contempt, and that people who claimed your friendship let pettiness override basic courtesy.

At the end of the day, I believe strongly that we can hold different opinions and still cherish one another's company and treat each other with respect and integrity. I am sorry that other have not felt the same, and that this election season has been so bitter for you.

As important in participating in the democratic process is, it's not the best way to effect change on a personal, tangible level. Take some time to heal yourself, but if you want to make waves - get involved with a cause you believe in, and volunteer.

You are not invisible. You are a beautiful, strong woman with a voice.

Lady,

I'm sorry. I hope you don't feel betrayed by me. I'll be honest -- I just wanted the republicans out of the White House. When I got to the voting booth I saw that the Green Party was indeed on the ballot here (for some reason, I thought it wasn't).

I should have done more reading, I should have listened more to you. (I can't flipping believe people told you the things they did! OK, that came out wrong. I don't usually read comments to blogs, and I'm appalled that people felt they had the right to treat you that way based on what you posted on YOUR OWN BLOG.

I guess I just assumed that there is always ugly stuff the press doesn't report in elections, and that this election was no different. I'm still sick that Hillary was forced out. I still have a Hillary window cling on our car.

I hope that Obama lives up to the promises he made. They never do.

*hugs*

Lisa

What I don't understand is how anyone who realized Hillary was forced out could vote in favor of the fix. That is rewarding crooks. I cannot wrap my brain around that.

I would have loved to have the Republicans out of the White House, too, but if the only other choice was putting in a crook, I'd rather vote for a third party or vote for anything except president. I am not so desperate that I will award evil with the highest office in the land.

Tunnel vision is not good. Not an excuse, but there it is.

I guess I was unsurprised by the behind-the-scenes manipulations. I grew up in a politically active family, and I've always known that the further up you get in any party, the more crap you have to deal with. That's why I'm registered as an independent, and always have been. I will accept the reality of party politics, but I'm not willing to give it my direct support.

I would guess that a little digging would reveal that the Republican party often engages in similar grubby behavior. Certainly the nomination of George Bush was heavily manipulated behind the scenes. And they are certainly willing to demand that everyone fall in line or else, not just during an election, but all the time. I don't know how third-party candidates are chosen, but I would hazard a guess that in parties of any significant size, there is a lot of politicking, some of it not so pleasant, going on.

I supported Obama because I really do think he's the best person for the job. Had Hillary Clinton gotten the nomination, I would have voted for her without even having to think about it, because while Obama is my first choice, I also feel that Hillary Clinton is eminently qualified.

But I'm not pleased that the individual, on-the-ground Democrat has often decided to be a True Believer over Obama. In a democratic world, there has to be plenty of room for people to express their opposing views. Are we in for four more years of being told that if we disagree with the administration, we are not patriotic? I hope not.

I've enjoyed reading your political posts; they've given me a lot of information. I hope you'll continue to research and speak up. And I hope the people who read this blog have enough sense to realize that you're a treasure for your opposing opinions, not a threat.

And I would never let politics come between us. I might disagree with you, but I care too much about being friends with you to let that happen.

There is already a precedent sent during the campaign: any questions or criticism about the now president-elect are called "racism" or "hating". I think that is why the mainstream media has given him a pass on the tough questions they should be asking about him; they don't want to be labeled racist.

Cowards.

Anyway, I appreciate your continued friendship. :-)

That's why I'm registered as an independent, and always have been. I will accept the reality of party politics, but I'm not willing to give it my direct support.

This. I can't help but assume that anybody who's gotten themselves into the position of being the major political candidate of either dominant political party has already sold out, because one can't rise that high without favors and money and political capital and a staff willing to resort to dirty tricks when necessary. Right or wrong, I haven't seen much to sway me from that view yet. I do vote, and I will continue to vote, but nobody gets to claim me on their rolls, because nobody's earned that from me.

i came over here today because i had not seen an entry from you (though i have been sporatic, at best, on LJ lately).

i'm sorry you feel both betrayed and invisible. it is true that many do not agree with your politics, just as many do not agree with mine, but there is no reason for people to make personal attacks. though i disagree with some on my f-lists, i still read their entries, because i feel it's important to always pay heed to opposing points of view. however, i read without comment as i, too, have been attacked for my politics, particularly when i was a nader supporter some years ago. (NOW, however, i am most decidedly NOT a nader supporter)

anyway, i hope you will not disappear from LJ. your insights are always inspiring and thought-provoking to me, never mind your photos are beautiful.

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It Comes Down to Two Words

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