SO MUCH of Me to Love

[wlotus]

This ensemble and the accessories took 15 years off my mental image of myself (and added 15 pounds, hmmm...).

I love my grandmother, but I am happy to NOT dress as though I am her age. :-)




Ready for My Closeup

The ride to Ossining was scenic. I enjoyed being reunited with my acquaintance. She and I agreed that if we could both travel from NYC for the shower, we can both travel within NYC to get together more than once every decade. I look forward to welcoming her daughter when she arrives.


Ossining, NY Waterfront

I'm listening to Janelle Monáe as I wind down for bed, because besides loving her music, her music reminds me it is okay to be my self and my size, no matter what self or size that may be. I also made the closeup my FB profile photo. After all, that is the me everyone else sees, so I see no reason to hide me from myself.

Comments

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

Pssh, you look nice! Were you holding your arms tightly to your sides? In photos, that always makes my upper arms look way bigger than they actually are.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I was actually relaxed. No denial here: my arms are big. That said, since high school I usually think I am much fatter than I am, and I usually think that is a bad thing. So there are two problems here, and the second (thinking my being fat is a bad thing) is more disturbing to me than the first. Of course, it doesn't help when one has family members who think it is okay to say when they think you have gotten "too big" or to gleefully declare when they see you, "You are looking BIG!!!!!" (Not, "You are looking beautiful, happy, healthy," and they will insist BIG--yes, all in caps--is the proper word to use when I say as much.) Unlearning that negative feedback will probably take a lifetime.

[syven.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that when you have pics of yourself, you tilt your head down, which makes your profile look larger. You are doing it in these photos. Lift your chin just a little, love.

I *love* that outfit on you! You are beautiful and it's clear that your other clothes are definitely making you look twice as big as you really are. *hugs*

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I'd forgotten that bit about my posture. Thanks!

I'm having fun coming out of my shell. :-) *hugs back*

[iswari.livejournal.com]

For summer, that top would look really lovely with a flowy white skirt!

Also, a pair of boot-cut/flared blue jeans or black yoga pants would go...

Btw, I never thought you looked like anyone's grandmother!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

LOL! Well, T has pinged me more than once about "dressing like a grandma", which means I am not accentuating my figure like a woman my age can get away with doing. I tend to hide in my clothes, rather than choosing flattering clothes...clothes that will call attention to myself...which will open me up to unwanted criticism from others, EEK! I've decided I'd rather develop a healthy case of the I-Don't-Give-A-Fucks than continue to hide in my clothes. :-)

[beautyofgrey.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I second the flowy white skirt!

(Heck, I need a flowy white skirt!)

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

That's another combo I want to find: fitted tops and flowy skirts! Flowy skirts are fun and feminine.

[scream4noreason.livejournal.com]

Girl, you got legs!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Why yes, yes I do. *flashes them*

[beautyofgrey.livejournal.com]

You are beautiful, and you look happy and content! (Yay!)

I remember several years ago when I first began to read you, you had a very negative self-image. I think it's awesome that you have begun to realize that you are a beautiful, wonderful, warm woman who anyone would be lucky to know! Because that is a very hard thing to do (I nearly had a anxiety attack when I realized that someone would have to see my thighs at the beach - how silly is that?)

Also, finally - you chose the perfect accessories with this. I love the way the earrings and bracelets compliment the top, especially.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

The anxiety is only silly to someone who has never dealt with having a negative self-image. It doesn't sound silly to me, at all.

That's why I am so grateful for my full-figured fashion consultant. She posts FB photos of herself on the beach, out partying with friends, lounging at home, and eating at great restaurants. She seems perfectly confident and elegant in her skin, even in a bathing suit! She inspires me.

[catling.livejournal.com]

Of all the photos you've posted of yourself in the years I've been reading you, I think this is my favorite. Great outfit and you look relaxed and happy, with the water in the background. :)

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I looked the way I felt.

[jiffyschnapps.livejournal.com]

You look "B."-"U."-"T."full

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thanks!

[rockbirthedme.livejournal.com]

I'll say the same thing to you that I say to NotSo!. You have a big, strong, beautiful body, and some of the most beautiful women I know have big, strong, beautiful bodies. To her I name names, but as none of the names would mean anything to you, rest assured I am comparing you to some very attractive women. I'm glad you're starting to play around with possibilities of showing it to advantage.

You know, at the recitals today, I noticed that there were maybe half-a-dozen girls amongst the teens who didn't match the usual dancer's profile of ultra-slender. I'm not talking about girls who are a little round compared to the usual slender dancer profile. I'm talking about girls who were big. I cannot tell you how great it was to see them out there, unafraid to wear skin-tight costumes, unafraid to be sexy and beautiful and strong and confident. The world says they're not beautiful enough to do what they're doing, that they should hide their bodies decently away, and they're dancing anyway.

Dare to be big and beautiful. May I show your picture to NotSoLittleAnyMore!? I'm always on the lookout for examples of women who are big and beautiful.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I noticed the same phenomenon at this year's St. Patrick's Day Parade. There were a number of cheerleaders, flag twirlers, and the like who heavy, and they seemed relatively comfortable participating in the same skimpy outfits the thin girls wore. I never saw that when I was their age. It was refreshing.

Thank you for the compliment. Of course you may show NotSo my photo, if you think it will help keep her self-esteem healthy.

I love that top!

[lapetitediva.livejournal.com]

The colors and the print are very beautiful, very summery. The entire outfit looks nice and cool for a day of strolling around the park, or the city.