SO MUCH of Me to Love

[wlotus]

This ensemble and the accessories took 15 years off my mental image of myself (and added 15 pounds, hmmm...).

I love my grandmother, but I am happy to NOT dress as though I am her age. :-)




Ready for My Closeup

The ride to Ossining was scenic. I enjoyed being reunited with my acquaintance. She and I agreed that if we could both travel from NYC for the shower, we can both travel within NYC to get together more than once every decade. I look forward to welcoming her daughter when she arrives.


Ossining, NY Waterfront

I'm listening to Janelle Monáe as I wind down for bed, because besides loving her music, her music reminds me it is okay to be my self and my size, no matter what self or size that may be. I also made the closeup my FB profile photo. After all, that is the me everyone else sees, so I see no reason to hide me from myself.

Comments

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

Pssh, you look nice! Were you holding your arms tightly to your sides? In photos, that always makes my upper arms look way bigger than they actually are.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I was actually relaxed. No denial here: my arms are big. That said, since high school I usually think I am much fatter than I am, and I usually think that is a bad thing. So there are two problems here, and the second (thinking my being fat is a bad thing) is more disturbing to me than the first. Of course, it doesn't help when one has family members who think it is okay to say when they think you have gotten "too big" or to gleefully declare when they see you, "You are looking BIG!!!!!" (Not, "You are looking beautiful, happy, healthy," and they will insist BIG--yes, all in caps--is the proper word to use when I say as much.) Unlearning that negative feedback will probably take a lifetime.