Why One, But Not the Other?

[wlotus]

There is a lot of angst and sadness and anger in the world, and I seem to be able to easily, instinctively absorb those feelings from others. I wonder why I do not internalize others' happiness in that way. Their happiness, while real to me, is always separate from my own feelings. In contrast, I feel their sadness as though it is my own.

Comments

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Ooooo, I like counting my blessings. It makes me feel warm inside. :-)

I am touched when I count my blessings. When I count someone else's blessings I feel happy if I have the same blessings, sad/angry if their blessings are ones I wanted but have not received, and nothing otherwise. In contrast, when I hear of someone's sadness, even if I do not personally know them, I am instantly able to put myself in their shoes and feel my own version of their pain, even if I have never had their experience. In fact, I do this so instinctively that I have to make a conscious effort not to get sucked into a depressive state. I would like to be able to do the same with others' happiness.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you need to tweak your cognitive temperance filters.

Worked for me. :-)

Sadness, fear, and anger unfortunately, does have an 'odor' that is difficult to remove from the soul. It needs to be bleached out with plenty of sunshine. Music is a great agent for this. Use liberally.

Hmmmmm...

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I was worried this was just how my temperament worked--I am beginning to identify reasons why my temperament got tuned in that way--but your comment gives me hope. I like both sunshine and music. Does getting a lot of both really help? Did you do other things to tweak your filters?

Re: Hmmmmm...

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

Changed my diet. Upgraded my Vitamin D levels (both with supplements and actual sunshine). Started listening to the voices in my head (they're not all bad- sometimes they have really good ideas!).

Paid attention. I do a lot of living through my ears. I noted that a lot of things drifting into my hearing were things that shifted my mood, sometimes negatively. So, I started working on finding a balance between knowledge (of sometimes negative things) and comfort (good music).

Re: Hmmmmm...

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I am going to fine tune these things and see what happens in the months to come. Thanks!

Re: Hmmmmm...

[sandokai.livejournal.com]

I second Vitamin D. It's amazing (both pill and sunshine forms)

[balmofgilead.livejournal.com]

I wonder if there's some evolutionary reason behind that.

In the scheme of things, though - it /would/ be so much nicer if it didn't work that way.

Also, giving this some thought, I bet it's especially easier to absorb sadness via writing/print than it is to absorb happiness that way, but in person it might be different. Some people are "up" people and make me happy when I'm around them, but that's rarer in print. (I don't know which you're referring to.)

[lilrongal.livejournal.com]

Seems to me that bad stuff just happens to have a stronger, more lingering effect. It's just like burning and incense and then a cat poops. The cat poop smell just cancels out the incense and lasts for what seems like hours, even if you get a new one going. Seems like bad stuff just wants to hang around--it's up to us to try to kick them out. That's challenging!

[acoustics1220.livejournal.com]

Empathy and compassion on your part?

I do too actually; I feel others sadness and pain as my own, but their happiness is only theirs. Odd.