Thoughts I Want to Pursue/Research

[wlotus]

"...I define lesbianism, not merely by the fact that I sleep with women, but as a sense of a really deeply ingrained self; that I have a right to deal my power, whatever it is, however I can manage to do it. The word lesbian for me has a connotation that's far beyond sexual."

~ Audre Lorde, from a 1977 interview with Ellen Shapiro.


Would Lorde have recognized (or doubted) heterosexual women could have that same awareness and ownership of their power? If so, could she then use the word lesbian to refer to them? How did she use the word heterosexual?

Feel free to discuss.

Comments

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

Lorde was writing from the crucible of the second wave of feminism. The ideal of lesbianism that she's talking about comes from groups like Radicalesbians, the early wave of the radical feminist movement. I think you'd find the essay "The Woman-Identified Woman" (http://scriptorium.lib.duke.edu/wlm/womid/) really interesting - I read it in my Feminist Theory class last semester.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I've read half of the essay this morning and have printed it out to finish later. Thanks for the reference. It is interesting. They seemed to believe heterosexual women are incapable of owning their power as fully as lesbian women. Just from reading half the essay, I can see why many people got the mistaken impression feminism was about breaking up happy marriages and alienating men.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

Thirty years is a long time- and an entire generation- ago. I would like to hope that things have changed.

I don't sleep with women (or men!), but I also have a deeply ingrained sense of self- hard-won and highly prized. I have personal power, strong boundaries and a deep internal peace that is distilled from years of trying- and finally failing- to be someone I was not.

A colleague of mine is going through a similar process- finding her own internal peace, after being married to a selfish, narcissistic, traditional man for 17 years. She realized that she was only at peace when everyone in the house was either gone or asleep, or she was listening to her audiobooks. She told me that she doesn't listen to them any more since she separated from him. She seems a lot happier, too.

It is still very much a man's world, and marriage is still the norm for most women- but people like me have staked out small islands of sanity and sanctity that do not even register on the radar. My private life is man-free, which is how I prefer it.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

You are right: that was a long time ago. I hope by now more people have a much broader view than Lorde did.

My private life is man-free, though not by choice. There was a time when I would have chosen that for myself, but I eventually had the pleasure of meeting men I am glad to consider buddies. However, none of them made themselves available to have the kind of deeper, more emotionally connected friendships I have with my close friends, all of whom are female. When I would reach out to them in that way, they would erect emotional walls and back away (in embarrassment?), so I stopped trying. I used to mourn that lack of male energy in my private life, and sometimes I still do, but now the grief is minimal. My female friends more than make up for it with their compassion and empathy and willingness to accept the same from me.