Oh, MY God
Jan. 8th, 2009 03:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wlotusThree weeks ago I wrote in my paper journal about my current feelings towards God. In short, why should I be angry at God when people are the ones who misled me? Or (to take responsibility for my own naivete and to acknowledge the fact that many of them were well-meaning) why should I be angry at God when I was the one who decided early in life to suppress my instinctive understanding of God to blindly believe what the people around me believed? (In all fairness to myself, that suppression was a necessary survival skill, due to the environment I grew up in. Now, however, it fits me no better than my very first pair of shoes would.)
The things I believe about God now are in line with what I used to believe about God when I was a very young child just becoming aware/curious of the divine.
God never misled me. God was simply being Zirself* all along. But people told me God was something else, something that turned out to be oppressive to me in many ways. That was not God's fault.
I feel I can befriend God, now. The thought of doing so no longer sets my teeth on edge.
*I don't usually use gender-neutral pronouns, but doing so when I write about God feels far more natural to me than alternating between the feminine and masculine or not using any pronouns at all.
The things I believe about God now are in line with what I used to believe about God when I was a very young child just becoming aware/curious of the divine.
God never misled me. God was simply being Zirself* all along. But people told me God was something else, something that turned out to be oppressive to me in many ways. That was not God's fault.
I feel I can befriend God, now. The thought of doing so no longer sets my teeth on edge.
*I don't usually use gender-neutral pronouns, but doing so when I write about God feels far more natural to me than alternating between the feminine and masculine or not using any pronouns at all.
