In Which Mom Learns Skinned Knees Won't Kill The Teen

[wlotus]

Like any other loving parent, labyrinthnight wants to protect The Teen from embarrassment. Until now, that has meant riding his back and mapping his school projects out for him, since he had no interest in doing the work himself. She did not want to see him fail. She did not want to see him humiliated in front of his peers. Now, though, she has decided it is more important that she not see him continue being lazy with no consequences.

This morning The Teen had a science project due for the school's science fair. He put little or no effort into thinking up a project, let alone carrying out one. As difficult as it was, labyrinthnight stepped back. She did not lecture. She did not nag. She did not search for ideas. She did not map out what needed to be done. He did not ask for help, so she did not offer any or ask about his (nonexistent) progress. All she did was warn him a science project cannot be done in one day and let him know he would go to school the day of the science fair, come hell or high water. Furthermore, she would walk him into the school, to make sure his project did not get "lost" on the way.

This morning at 5 she found him asleep in front of the computer. He had stayed up all night trying to do a last-minute science project. She left him there and went back to bed until it was time for him to start getting ready.

On the way out the door, she asked where his presentation board was. He had left it in his room. "How much did you get done?" she asked. "Nothing," was his reply. "Then that is what you are submitting to your teacher," she stated. She ignored the temptation to shield him, made him go back for it, and had him carry the blank board with him all the way to school. She escorted him to the schoolhouse doors, made sure he headed towards his classroom, then left until time to view the fair.

When she returned, the principal met her at the door. "I already sent him back to his class," she said. The science project is a significant part of the eighth grade requirements, and by not completing it, he is in danger of not graduating. So, here is how the law has been laid down. The Teen has to come up with a project idea, which his science teacher must approve. When his project is complete, the principal must approve it. If she approves and he meets his other graduation requirements, he graduates. If she does not approve, he does not graduate. (labyrinthnight has already told him that if he does not graduate, she will pay for him to repeat eighth grade right there with this year's seventh graders.) labyrinthnight (and T and I) is in full agreement and will accept whatever decision the school makes.

To say The Teen was embarrassed to have been singled out in that way is probably an understatement. He has always counted on Mom being there to cover up his mess and save him from embarrassment, but not this time.

I know from watching some of my adult friends struggle with unnecessary drama how difficult it is to step back and watch someone you love suffer consequences of their own making. I can't imagine how much more difficult it is to watch your child go through something like that. But labyrinthnight did, and I am very proud of her for it.