Anne Lamott, on Whether Having Kids Validates You

Let me say that not one part of me thinks you need to have children to be complete, to know parts of yourself that cannot be known any other way. People with children like to think this, although if you are not a parent, they hide it--their belief that having a child legitimizes them somehow, validates their psychic parking tickets. They tell pregnant women and couples and one another that those who have chosen not to breed can never know what real love is, what selflessness really means. They like to say that having a child taught them about authenticity.

This is a total crock. Many of the most shut-down, narcissistic, selfish people on earth have children. Many of the most evolved--the richest in spirit, the most giving--choose not to. The exact same chances for awakening, for personal restoration and connection, exist for breeders and nonbreeders alike.

~ Anne Lamott, Chirren, from Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith