For Your Information

[wlotus]

There are people who seem to have forgotten a couple of common sense ideas. I shall now be a good citizen of the human race and remind you all of those ideas.

1. Not all women are pencil-thin.

2. Not all round women are pregnant.

3. Unless you see, with your own eyes, a baby emerging from that woman's body at that very moment, do not ask a woman who has not mentioned being pregnant when she is due! (See #2.)

Thank you, my fellow humans, for your attention to these matters.

Comments

[jadegirl.livejournal.com]

OMG. Please, please tell me this didn't happen to you.

[shutterbug.livejournal.com]

No, it happened to me. Gar!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

My fist of death is vibrating...

[jadegirl.livejournal.com]

*checks journal, sees pic* What the hell, were they blind? Seriously, that's just ridiculous.

I'm sorry someone got their stupid all over you.

[shutterbug.livejournal.com]

Ew, I got slimed with stupid!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Not to me, as I tend to hide my belly (in order to avoid such questions, ahem), but it happened to someone dear to me.

[jadegirl.livejournal.com]

Still, omg. I hope the person who said that is *still* in agonies of embarassment.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Knowing shutterbug, she responded far too politely for the person to reconsider the wisdom of asking such a question. The questioner was someone from a generation and culture which believes it is perfectly reasonable to ask such personal questions of younger women.

[shutterbug.livejournal.com]

Older woman, owner of a local Thai restaurant. I'm also Thai, and I guess for some reason that makes it okay to comment. My grandfather's girlfriend did that to me in 2006 also. Bah.

Seriously, I don't think it even registered as uncalled-for.

[rockbirthedme.livejournal.com]

I had a family member do that to me, only it was extra-special. He looked at my bulgy midsection and exclaimed disapprovingly, "Not another one!"

I refrained from killing him only because it was my younger brother. He's always been bad at social cues (my mother suspects Aspergers) and chewing him out would have been useless; I've just had to accept that he is who he is. I simply told him that no, I was not pregnant, and that he'd better not ask again.

Inside, I was snarling, "No, I'm not pregnant, you inconsiderate fuck. I'm hauling around sixty extra pounds of weight due to meds I have no choice but to take, my knees hurt, my clothes don't fit, and thanks bunches for pointing it out! And while we're at it, I'll have as many babies as I damned well choose, and I'm not going to ask your opinion!" If it had been *anybody* but my younger brother ...

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

My brain was just burned by the mere thought of what you might have said to anyone else!

[rockbirthedme.livejournal.com]

I'm only a nice person when I *feel* like being a nice person. *grin*

[musesing.livejournal.com]

I've had that happen to me. Sometimes I was just tempted to play along but ultimately it is kind of a presumptuous question.

[autodidactic.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, I got that once when I was heavier. The look and the tongue lashing I gave the perpetrator assured that he would never make the same mistake again. :P

[ruthiebgr8.livejournal.com]

Had that happen to me at my ex's church on my first visit there, the one where we announced our engagement. One of the girls (10-13 yrs old) came up to me and asked if I was going to have a baby. In her case she did have the excuse (I was told later) that her mother always got married when she got pregnant. Still.... That was 30+ years ago and I haven't forgotten the feeling inside. I do NOT EVER ask someone if they are pregnant unless they are very good friends and have been trying. I also try to wait until they are done relieving themselves of their breakfast before asking. It's one of those not-so-subtle cues that tends to make it okay to ask.

[scream4noreason.livejournal.com]

Someone said that to me last week.

I saw an old co-worker and she said, "OOh! Youre losing weight! No baby!" looking straight at my stomach.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I've joked with male friends like that, before. But they were people whom I knew well and knew they would think it was funny. I would never say something like that to someone I did not know well and did not know they'd find it humorous.

[iswari.livejournal.com]

As an apple-shaped person, I have been asked such questions many times. It is particularly mortifying, given my circumstances. Ironically, when I actually was pregnant, no one noticed until near the end.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

And your circumstances are another reason why I don't say such things.

[llahearn.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!! Just a couple of weeks ago, as I was getting on the shuttle at work, one of the said "Oh, are you expecting?" Embarrassing enough that someone thought I was one of the many pregnant women at work right now, but there it was, one more reminder of my infertility!