![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wlotusFrom time to time I hear people insist that if one cannot be truly, deeply happy without a partner, one has an unhealthy attachment to being in a romantic relationship. The problem with that view is it is far too narrow. One size does not and cannot fit all.
As with anything, different things are beneficial for different people. Not all people can take the same healthy foods; some are allergic. Not all people can handle the same healing medications; there are allergies there, too. We would never tell someone whom we know is allergic to peanuts, "You should be able to eat them, and your reaction to them is a sign you are unhealthy." Yet we do that often when it comes to people's reactions to being single or coupled.
The fact is that on an emotional level, some people can thrive single, and others not so much. Some of the people who cannot thrive single are unhealthily attached to wanting a partner. For others they are perfectly well-adjusted, and being romantically connected is simply a strong need for them. Likewise, some people who are happy single are well-adjusted, while others are commitment-phobic and unable to have healthy relationships. When we make broad generalizations like, "Everyone needs someone," or, "Everyone should be totally happy alone," we end up only telling some of the story for some of the people some of the time.
(Expanded from a comment I made in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
single_101.)
As with anything, different things are beneficial for different people. Not all people can take the same healthy foods; some are allergic. Not all people can handle the same healing medications; there are allergies there, too. We would never tell someone whom we know is allergic to peanuts, "You should be able to eat them, and your reaction to them is a sign you are unhealthy." Yet we do that often when it comes to people's reactions to being single or coupled.
The fact is that on an emotional level, some people can thrive single, and others not so much. Some of the people who cannot thrive single are unhealthily attached to wanting a partner. For others they are perfectly well-adjusted, and being romantically connected is simply a strong need for them. Likewise, some people who are happy single are well-adjusted, while others are commitment-phobic and unable to have healthy relationships. When we make broad generalizations like, "Everyone needs someone," or, "Everyone should be totally happy alone," we end up only telling some of the story for some of the people some of the time.
(Expanded from a comment I made in
single_101.)
