On Being Single

[wlotus]

If you are not going to settle, you need to be prepared for the real possibility that you may not meet someone suitable for a very long time, if ever. Single people always have to make a choice between settling for whatever comes along just to have someone, or refusing to settle even if it means being single for a very long time. It's a reality many people are uncomfortable thinking about, so they don't prepare themselves for it and they don't help others prepare for it, either.

Staying single usually looks very good once you experience what settling gets you. :-) There ARE worse things than being single when being in a healthy romantic relationship is your desire. Being in an UNHEALTHY relationship is one of those worse things.

Comments

[ephany.livejournal.com]

Excellent point. I've watched many a person recoil in horror (OK, maybe less dramatic, but I'm sure you know the look), when I mention that I had two, 3-year 'dry spells' of not dating anyone. If I add up the years of being single compared to years in relationships, the contrast is dramatic (but getting lower obviously, since I intend on keeping this one :).

Anyway, I watched my friends go through a lot of crazy relationships during those years and even at my loneliest, it wasn't motivation enough to put up with the kind of crap they were dealing with, just for a little nookie.

Way to stick to your convictions.

I just kept telling myself, The longer I wait, the more fabulous she better be. As it turns out, that deal with the universe has worked out pretty well.

[bookchick.livejournal.com]

Very good point. Although, as you know, some of us don't settle, wait a long time, get together with someone, and still find single to look very good ;>.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know that look, and it usually is horror. :-)

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

That is an entirely different matter. :-)

[bluesilverkdg.livejournal.com]

After my ex-husband, I swore I'd never settle again. And I have not. :-) It feels good to be aware enough to realize it.

(I can't remember if I have told you, but I think that userpic of you is my favorite.)

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's one of my favorites, too.

[queen-in-autumn.livejournal.com]

Chiming in to agree -- although you know this is how I feel as well.

I'm back to being single again, and I'll be damned if I settle for anything less than what I've discovered is possible.

[dynamicgirl.livejournal.com]

I hear you! After being in relationships in the past that weren't right for me... being single is MUCH better. I love it!

[far-gone.livejournal.com]

Mieux vaux seule que mal-accompagnee, as the french say. Better to be alone than poorly accompanied. Or as my dad says - lonely is bad, but lonely inside a couple is worse.

[fitfool.livejournal.com]

Amen to that!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Oh, heavens yes. I have been both, and being lonely in a couple is terrible.

[ruthiebgr8.livejournal.com]

I'd much rather be single than saddled with a jerk. Fortunately I lucked out this time, but I've gone through a lot of jerks to find this good one. I can do single. I refuse to do coupled with a jerk ever again!

[toya121.livejournal.com]

so true