Fire

[wlotus]

At one point I had begun to find Anaïs Nin's diary overwrought and melodramatic. I stopped reading Volume 2 of the abridged diary for awhile, because I could not tolerate it. But I picked it up not long ago, and now I want more of her! So when I returned Falling Leaves to the Central Library this afternoon, I checked out Volumes 3 and 4 of Nin's unexpurgated diaries. (I will look for Henry and June (Vol. 1) and Incest (Vol. 2) next time.) Volume 3 is called Fire, and begins with the passionate reunification of her and Otto Rank in New York in 1934.

She was a passionate woman, which is a trait I share with her. And I still find it amusing that we share both a birthday and a practice of daily, hand-written journaling. I didn't know either fact until red_silk_robe sent me Vols. 1 and 2 of her abridged diaries for my birthday, this year! Unlike her, though, I do not hand my diaries over to others to read. (She would give volumes to her friends to read, and that is when she first began receiving encouragement to publish them.)

She was something else...she left her husband back in Paris in order to join her lover, Otto Rank, in New York City. Later on her other Parisian lover, Henry Miller, joined her in New York City in order to keep her from forgetting him. She lied to all three of them in order to spend time with whomever she most wanted at the time. I am disappointed in that aspect of her behavor. But she wrote so beautifully and honestly of her deceptions and passionate feelings that I enjoy reading of them.

Speaking of diaries, I need to buy another safe, to protect my most recent volumes. I bought two more blank books today: unlined Moleskine Reporter's Notebooks. The unlined Moleskine I have already half-filled with fountain pen ink and art marker doodlings is my third. What on earth did I write in, before I discovered these notebooks? When I am not experiencing a depressive episode, the pages pull words out of my pen. Yesterday and today I filled seven pages each day with my musings. Scribbling in my diary is the best part of my day...when I am not making pictures, that is.