Accountability Equals Asking to Be Stomped On

[wlotus]

I hate the phrase "personal accountability". Whenever I hear or read the phrase (as I did in a business letter I received this evening) I feel the heat of someone breathing down my neck, their cold indifference to what I have done right, and their teeth on my throat whenever they find something to criticize...even if that is not their intention. I can thank my background for that feeling. *shudders*

That's strange...there was a time in my life--long, long before I hit my teens, I would bet--when I would look upon such a thing as an opportunity to demonstrate just how together I am. Time to turn back the mental clock and return to that mindset.

Perhaps it will help if someone explains to me how "personal accountability" (i.e. reporting your activities to someone else) is supposed to be a helpful thing. I have never gotten the sense that it is, and I find I am far more productive when I am not laboring under the weight of having someone look over my shoulder.

Comments

[acoustics1220.livejournal.com]

Personal accountability - I didn't even think of the definition, and I don't think of personal accountability as such...though, I guess it could be.

I take it as just something you take responsibility for - actions you make, if you do something wrong - you say, I was wrong, it's my fault.

*shrug* I'm sorry you feel that awful feeling when you come across that phrase.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

In and of itself, there is nothing traumatic about taking responsibility for my actions without making excuses. In fact, I find it empowering. However, I always hear "personal accountability" used in the context of reporting one's behavior to someone else, and in the church where I first heard that phrase used, the understanding was the person you were reporting to had the right to scold you for not staying on the straight and narrow for whatever goal you were trying to reach. It was always about giving someone else the right to beat you over the head and pointing out your every minute misstep, if they so chose (and they often chose, or so I would assume), though they called it "speaking the truth in love".

My problem with it comes from being thoroughly trained in criticizing (putting down and beating up) my own self, to the point where I do not want to hear criticism/correction from anyone else. If I want continued mental and emotional beatings, I can do it quite well on my own. But like I said, that is how it feels to me because of my history, and not because that is the intention of everyone who offers criticism, whether under the banner of "personal accountability" or not.

[rockbirthedme.livejournal.com]

Where does the definition of "personal accountability" as "reporting your activities to someone else" come from? I'm curious. Is that the context the letter used it in, or is that just the meaning you were given as a child?

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

It comes from the context under which I always hear it used. Beginning in the church where I was first introduce to the phrase (in my late twenties), the phrase was always used in the context of having an accountability partner: a person whom you told what you goal(s) were and who was supposed to help you stay on the path towards that goal. You report to this person what you have done and why, and if you miss the mark, they can correct you. In an ideal world, that person would be kind and gentle in their correction. In my experience from childhood, correction was rarely kind and gentle, so I always avoided "accountability partner" relationships once the concept was introduced to me in adulthood. The phrase gives me the heebie-jeebies.

[tuluum.livejournal.com]

sorry to hear that this was your experience. i knew vaguely of this practice in some churches but never met anyone who lived through it, let alone that it could be used in a non-supportive manner. triggers suck!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Dealing with triggers is easier, now that my brain chemistry is balanced and I've learned to recognize I am being triggered by something. In the past I would just be upset "for no reason", and that would add to the angst.

It's funny, but I rarely hear the phrase "personal accountability" now that I am out of the evangelical movement.

[arkadelos.livejournal.com]

"personal accountability" has become a political propoganda statement. That's how I think of it.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Come to think of it, the only other place (outside of evangelical churches) I tend to hear "personal accountability" on a regular basis is in the political arena!