wlotus | I Marched For Women's Lives

Yesterday's march moved me far more than I can say. It was my first political/protest march, and I am very glad I did it. I went to Washington, D.C. with the attitude of a child going on a field trip and came back with the attitude of a woman who has learned some things about the world.

There I was on the Mall with hundreds of thousands of women, children, and men--I was not expecting to see so many men out there!--all joined together to send the statement that women ought to be able to make fully informed choices about their bodies and lives. It was much, much more than just an abortion rights rally, though that was the issue that was focused on the most. There was the issue of how Bush's "gag-rule"--withdrawing funding from clinics worldwide that provided any kind of abortion counseling or services--negatively affected women's overall health. In many undeveloped areas, those clinics provided the only medical care for entire villages, including pre-natal and post-natal care. When Bush's policy took away the funding for those clinics, they had to close, leaving large areas with no medical services at all. What angers me is that if I know that, I know Bush knows that. But he obviously does not care, because he hasn't reinstated funding. He can only see as far as his personal disagreement with abortion...a procedure he would never be faced with choosing legally or illegally anyway, because he cannot get pregnant. Yet he says he wants to instill a "culture of life". Since when does denying poor people any sort of health care unless they only teach what he agrees with equate with a culture of life???????????

::huff::

Out there on the Mall, I did not have to keep my spirituality to myself: there were many Christian groups and clergy marching with us. I did not have to be quiet about race: there were people of all colors and nationalities there. I did not have to fit into any particular stereotype of "womanhood": there were women of all shapes, sizes, sexual orientations, and styles out there--the atmosphere was profoundly pro-female. If I cried, few would accuse me of being "overly emotional". If I analyzed what I saw and felt, few would accuse me of "analyzing too much". If I was angry, I would be told I had every right to be an angry woman.

In short, I could just be myself, a refreshing change from the various people I have encountered who have tried, in various ways, to convince me I ought not be myself.

For the most part, the atmosphere was celebratory. We chanted, we chatted, we yelled and waved our banners at the helicopters overhead. We cheered the speakers we saw on the big screens on the Mall. We cheered the pockets of supporters who strategically placed themselves in the midst of the anti-abortion protesters: their encouraging, smiling faces stood out like beacons amongst the serious, drawn faces of the others. We were serious, too, but we enjoyed the feeling of solidarity, of being a part of something bigger than ourselves.

I'm not alone! I kept thinking in wonder. For much of the past decade I have felt quite alone with my thoughts and feelings on these issues. Surrounded by people who made no secret of their opposite viewpoints, I kept my viewpoints mostly to myself in order to keep from being verbally attacked. Who wants to have to defend their viewpoint every time they open their mouth, as though their viewpoint is a whim and not the result of much soul-searching and serious thought? I sure didn't. So I kept quiet and felt as though there were few others who felt the same as I did.

Boy was I wrong. It seems that at least a million other people showed up on Sunday to help prove me wrong, too!

I'll admit to questioning myself from time to time. As a Christian woman who believes abortion is murder, how can I march with a pro-choice rally? I asked myself. But here's the kicker: no one who is pro-choice says a woman must have an abortion. (In fact, there are many of us who are pro-choice who also believe abortion is murder, and few pro-choice people would attack us for our viewpoint, even if they don't believe the same as us.) We are saying every woman should continue to have the right to choose, that it's a decision she and only she should have the authority to make since no one else is walking in her shoes or living her life, and she should not be subjected to emotional or verbal abuse for having made the choice to have an abortion or to have not had an abortion. We are also saying using one's financial clout to potentially shut down health care clinics just because the clinic also gives information about or performs abortions is just plain wrong, and by our marching we wanted women all over the world to know we feel that way, no matter what our "leader's" policies may say.

Every time I questioned my conscience, my conscience was completely with the pro-choice viewpoint, because it affirms women rather than imprisoning or subjugating them. The opposing viewpoint has always been like a burr to my conscience, because it makes women into victims of their own biology (the ability to bear children). As one marcher's poster said, pregnancy should not be a punishment; I'll add to that, especially not when the male who is just as responsible for the pregnancy experiences no such consequences. I don't know about anyone else, but I cannot support any viewpoint that victimizes women and then claim to be concerned about women's lives and souls. For me to do so would be hypocrisy in the first degree.

I had another reason for going: enjoying the freedom that comes with living in this country that I love. As I walked home from the subway last night, I thought about how, if I lived in other countries, I could not have given my name and mailing address to be counted, because that would have meant the authorities would have come to my house in the night and taken me away to God only knows where for God only knows how long. My family might never see me again. In other countries, we would have turned down the main parade route and been met by tanks. I would not have had a job to go to the next morning. But in the United States of America I could openly join myself to such a rally and not have to worry about such things. (Not yet, anyway, thank God.)

When Bush first started his war against the people of Iraq my pastor said we ought not criticize the president during "this sensitive time". I guess he wanted those of us who did not agree with Bush's policies to just swallow our disagreement and to only say things in support of him, if we said anything at all. I did not appreciate, agree with, or follow his admonitions. Since when is it wrong, in the United States of America, to openly state your disagreement with a leader's politics? That mindset is very, very dangerous--it is the beginning of telling people not to think for themselves--and erodes the fundamental freedoms our forefathers worked and fought hard to secure for us. Supporters on the sidewalks shouted at us yesterday, "Show us what democracy looks like!" and we hollered back, "This is what democracy looks like!" I thought about my pastor's mis-guided advice while we shouted, and I raised my voice louder. This is a democracy, openly expressing disagreement with one's leaders is part of living in a democracy, and I pray to God that never changes.

So I followed my conscience and hundreds of thousands of people to Washington, D.C. I waved my "Women of Color Taking Steps/Reproductive Social Justice For All Women" banner. I chanted. I cheered. I was proud to be a woman. I was proud to be an American. I wasn't ashamed (at least not of myself). I no longer feel alone, silenced, or ignored. I feel empowered.

It's about time.