The Stench of Hypocrisy Reached My Nostrils, Then There Were Other, More Pleasant Things

[wlotus]

I have given up trying to understand hypocrites. Their ways make no sense to me. However, I keep trying to understand why hearing about them and their ways bothers me so much. I don't like feeling bothered, and I'd like to learn how not to feel bothered when I hear about them.

Another thing to consider is they don't give me a second thought, don't stress over what I may think about them or may be doing with my life. I would like to take a page from their book and do the same emotional disassociation whenever I come into contact with or hear about them.

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Under-rested W. Lotuses will, without warning, rip off their hats and gloves while browsing a yarn store, declare themselves tired of being cold and needing to wear 35 tons of clothing, and pout prettily. Just saying.

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Tomorrow I shall go to the director of my computer school and talk to her about doing an unpaid office administration internship. The experience, coupled with my Microsoft Office certifications, could help me find an office job that will hold me until I finish my IT certifications (however long that will take, goodness only knows). At the very least, it will keep my mind busy and give me an excuse to go to the school regularly, where I can study my IT stuff in the Mentored Classroom. I also have a lead for a paid job that sounds like steady work. As soon as I complete the skills assessment, we can get the ball rolling on that. So things are looking promising on the job front. It's a good start to the job portion of this year.

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My savings will take a much, much smaller hit than expected when I pay for my car repairs and my dental work this week. Have I said, "Thank you!!!!!" in the last five seconds? I haven't? Well then, thank you!!!!!

Comments

[lilrongal.livejournal.com]

I keep trying to understand why hearing about them and their ways bothers me so much. I don't like feeling bothered, and I'd like to learn how not to feel bothered when I hear about them.

Can I get an amen?

I think it's cognitive dissonance. See, they're preaching something so we expect them to practice it. But when they are not practicing what they preach, our brain gets all icky because things are not adding up. And that's why it bugs us.

That's my theory, anyway.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Cognitive dissonance messes with my brain something awful. Things have to make sense to me, or it feels like a bomb just went off in my grey matter.

[arkadelos.livejournal.com]

I know EXACTLY what you mean about hypocrites! My sister is quite the hypocrite in my family. She used to portray herself as the empowered and tolerant/accepting feminist all the time. But then, she spent all Christmas one year yelling and screaming at me over something trivial she thought was sexist; she never bothered to think that I was stressed out after two hellish years. Many years later, she shrugged off people calling Palin a "C--T" and whenever I try to point her hypocrisy, she replies to me, "I am sorry my thoughts are more complex than yours." And last month, she spouted the EXACT same sexism against Clinton that was used against the suffragettes to keep women in servitude.

So, anyway, about hyprocrites... they are self-delusional, and there is really no point in trying to understand them.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

So, anyway, about hyprocrites... they are self-delusional, and there is really no point in trying to understand them.

You make a lot of sense. This is why I stay far, far away from them. They strain my brain too much, because they are so off the wall.

[rockbirthedme.livejournal.com]

Hypocrites are confusing and frustrating because they clearly aren't truly thinking about what they're saying. And frankly, it's damn aggravating when someone spends a lot of time judging and trying to control when clearly they're still dealing with the plank in their own eye.

I've learned to deal with hypocrisy on two levels. One is, if I am truly honest with myself, I do it, too. No matter how I try to be honest, there are things I just haven't pulled out to examine, where I'm saying one thing and doing another. So I try to be cautious about judging other people for being hypocrites, as I'm pretty sure that plank is wedged in there pretty firmly.

Two is, I've gotten very accepting of a fundamental fact. If I'm in a good mood, I say, "You have to wait for people to have their own epiphanies." If I'm in a bad mood, I say, "Everybody has the right to go to hell in their own way." When I'm in a really bad mood, I say, "Man is inclined to trouble as the sparks to fly upward," which is Job. Basically, it means accepting that in general, things aren't going to change, and it's not worth flailing, but that I can, in my own way, make small things better for some people. Better to put my energy into helping someone -- and that includes helping myself -- than in judging other people. It helps keep my blood pressure down.

Having said which, I still judge an awful lot. I still let other people's attitudes and actions get to me. And you know I can rant with the best of them. It's a process.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

The idea that I am willfully turning a blind eye to the places where my actions don't match my words fills me with horror. I know we all have blind spots; that is different from hypocrisy, in my mind. A hypocrite knows (or damn well SHOULD know) what they are saying and what they are doing does not add up, like the abuser who claims to love the very one they abused. How could such a person not know their words and their actions don't add up?

"You'd be surprised," some would say. Yes, I sure would.