Ordinariness
Feb. 7th, 2010 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wlotusThis weekend (all three days of it, as T had Friday off) was about the beauty of ordinariness. We didn't do anything exciting or out of the ordinary, and I did not allow my brain to roam much further than what I was doing right at that moment.
Ordinariness: buying our groceries for the week. While T did our laundry, I took the car and went grocery shopping for the first time in two weeks. Rather than rushing to try to get it over with, I slowed down and savored taking my time. The sunshine was wonderful as I drove to Key Food, then BJ's. I allowed myself to bask in being able to pick up everything we needed, plus a few extras. I returned home to T amidst stacks of clean laundry, plus a sense of accomplishment from getting it all done early. By 3 p.m. our laundry was put away, our kitchen was restocked, and we were both relaxing.
Ordinariness: watching the Superbowl and fixing dinner with T. We had a yummy dinner of spaghetti with meat sauce, laughed over the cute commercials, groaned over the (many) stupid ones, and cheered the Saints on to victory. And since we got our chores done early in the afternoon, we did not have to moan and groan about what we hadn't accomplished in preparation for the week. That made it even better!
Ordinariness: going to my office administration internship tomorrow morning. It isn't glamorous work in any way, but it is useful, honest work, and I am pleased by that.
Speaking of work, a friend recently felt the need to define for herself what she specifically wants a certain area of her life to look like. Her musings have me asking myself the same question about the rest of my working life. What do I want my path to look like?
Quietly Consistent comes to mind. I know I have had aspirations of being a superstar and making a big splash in some way. But right now I don't want to work that hard at a career. Being a superstar by an employer's standards requires a lot of long hours in a job, lots more than the normal 40-hour workweek. At this point in my life, I have a partner, a family, friends, and personal interests I want at the forefront of my life. If I strive to be a workplace superstar, I would have to put those things on the back burner, and I am not willing to do that.
Surprisingly enough, it feels like I have put those things on the back burner for a lot of my life, already...at least mentally. (I think my surprise comes from realizing this sense of constant striving has been entirely a mental phenomenon, born of constantly looking for ways to be considered "amazing". Thank you, perfectionism.) I spent most of my mental energy dreaming of being a career superstar, even if I didn't have much direction or support in real life to point me in that direction once I got out of high school. As much as I knew how, I chased a dream and received very little in return to convince me it was worth it. Now that I have had two years to focus the bulk of my time and mental energy on my relationships with my partner, family, friends, and self, I see how much more valuable they all are to me than being a career superstar. So I want my job path to focus on quiet consistency, while the bulk of my creative energy goes towards enjoying my life.
What does quiet consistency look like? It is doing my job, doing it my best, and being myself. I don't have to try to be "amazing" or aspire to move into a prestigious position. I can learn skills to help me contribute to the team, of course, but I don't have to try to "shine". In more ways than one, much of my disappointment in life has been from trying to shine...and in contrast, some of my most lauded achievements have come from me just being my best self and doing what made the most sense to me at the time. So I will focus on being content with quiet consistency in whatever work I do. I have a feeling my life will be far more fulfilling, that way.
Ordinariness: buying our groceries for the week. While T did our laundry, I took the car and went grocery shopping for the first time in two weeks. Rather than rushing to try to get it over with, I slowed down and savored taking my time. The sunshine was wonderful as I drove to Key Food, then BJ's. I allowed myself to bask in being able to pick up everything we needed, plus a few extras. I returned home to T amidst stacks of clean laundry, plus a sense of accomplishment from getting it all done early. By 3 p.m. our laundry was put away, our kitchen was restocked, and we were both relaxing.
Ordinariness: watching the Superbowl and fixing dinner with T. We had a yummy dinner of spaghetti with meat sauce, laughed over the cute commercials, groaned over the (many) stupid ones, and cheered the Saints on to victory. And since we got our chores done early in the afternoon, we did not have to moan and groan about what we hadn't accomplished in preparation for the week. That made it even better!
Ordinariness: going to my office administration internship tomorrow morning. It isn't glamorous work in any way, but it is useful, honest work, and I am pleased by that.
Speaking of work, a friend recently felt the need to define for herself what she specifically wants a certain area of her life to look like. Her musings have me asking myself the same question about the rest of my working life. What do I want my path to look like?
Quietly Consistent comes to mind. I know I have had aspirations of being a superstar and making a big splash in some way. But right now I don't want to work that hard at a career. Being a superstar by an employer's standards requires a lot of long hours in a job, lots more than the normal 40-hour workweek. At this point in my life, I have a partner, a family, friends, and personal interests I want at the forefront of my life. If I strive to be a workplace superstar, I would have to put those things on the back burner, and I am not willing to do that.
Surprisingly enough, it feels like I have put those things on the back burner for a lot of my life, already...at least mentally. (I think my surprise comes from realizing this sense of constant striving has been entirely a mental phenomenon, born of constantly looking for ways to be considered "amazing". Thank you, perfectionism.) I spent most of my mental energy dreaming of being a career superstar, even if I didn't have much direction or support in real life to point me in that direction once I got out of high school. As much as I knew how, I chased a dream and received very little in return to convince me it was worth it. Now that I have had two years to focus the bulk of my time and mental energy on my relationships with my partner, family, friends, and self, I see how much more valuable they all are to me than being a career superstar. So I want my job path to focus on quiet consistency, while the bulk of my creative energy goes towards enjoying my life.
What does quiet consistency look like? It is doing my job, doing it my best, and being myself. I don't have to try to be "amazing" or aspire to move into a prestigious position. I can learn skills to help me contribute to the team, of course, but I don't have to try to "shine". In more ways than one, much of my disappointment in life has been from trying to shine...and in contrast, some of my most lauded achievements have come from me just being my best self and doing what made the most sense to me at the time. So I will focus on being content with quiet consistency in whatever work I do. I have a feeling my life will be far more fulfilling, that way.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-02-08 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-08 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-08 05:34 pm (UTC)With regards to career superstars, depending on where you work or who you work for, being a superstar doesn't always guarantee job security. It's usually the ones who tried to prove themselves indispensable who end up with the pink slips come company take-over time.
You'll always be a superstar to me, just for being you and for making positive, realistic changes in your life and in your mindset :)
no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 12:39 pm (UTC)Your appreciation warms my heart. :-)