I Could Get Used to This

[wlotus]

I could get used to this working for myself thing. For starters, there is no boss looking at my numbers or my actions and judging me for everything I do or don't do. There is no one saying my initiative is anything but that. There is no one undermining my work, expecting me to read their minds on a daily basis, or withholding information I need in order to do my job. All I have to do is get up in the morning and, for better or worse, do what needs to be done...if it doesn't work in the long run, I'll just try something else. It remains to be seen whether I can make a living this way, but I am determined to have fun trying.

I have a few balls in the air, my photography, of course, still being one of them. labyrinthnight asked if I've ever thought of putting together a portfolio and trying to get a job as a photographer. I'm glad she brought it up, because it gave me a chance to discuss with her and clarify my previously unformed thoughts on the subject.

My problem is that I have not yet figured out where to go with the thought. I even have a difficult time classifying my photography; I say it is fine art, because I see it as something to hang on people's walls rather than something to go into a magazine or newspaper, but that designation feels too broad to use, for some reason. Without having a niche, I don't know how to sell myself...and even if I had a niche, I have no idea whom to sell myself to! I also feel like I could use more training...at the very least a digital darkroom and a lighting course or two. So right now I am stumbling around in the dark, making good photos from time to time, working on building my stock photography portfolio for Alamy, and occasionally selling a print on Etsy. I'm very happy with what I've done with my photography since September of 2007, and I can hardly wait to see what more I will be able to do when I upgrade my camera in a couple of weeks.

I am not worried about it, though. As I rapidly approach my 40th birthday--a month and a day to go!--I feel this is my time to reinvent my life. Last year was primarily spent reinventing my self. I am more self-aware and self-confident now than I was a year ago, two days after I lost my job as a hardware engineer. No longer afraid to try new things, I'm exploring my interests to see what will work best for me, what I can make work for me. Photography remains my passion, and supporting myself by it remains my dream. Working for myself has become my primary goal. Doing work that involves meaningful interactions with people has moved to the forefront of my mind. We'll see what I can make of this mishmash of ideas and desires over the next decade of my life.

I fully expect the next ten years to be far more fulfilling than the last ten!

Comments

[tively-split.livejournal.com]

It's a bit lame to say 'me too', but I hope your next ten years *will* be more fulfilling, and I do hope you'll be able to realize your dream of supporting yourself with your photography. Good luck!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

It is not lame at all! I appreciate the support very much. Thank you.