Dream Recovery

[wlotus]

My dream last night was weird, to say the least. The country had been taken over by a group that did not allow dissent of any kind, public or private. We were not allowed to think for ourselves or express whatever opinions we had, even if we did think for ourselves. People who did not submit to the group/cult were beaten and ultimately died from malnutrition and harsh treatment, if the beating didn't kill them right away. We were forced to stay within a compound, where only those who were accepted into the cult were treated well. Members dressed all in white. Everyone else was dressed in grey and treated like slaves.

As per usual in situations where I feel oppressed, I asserted myself and made my displeasure with the status quo known. But at some point I realized it was a matter of life or death; I could be killed, if I did not at least pretend to have submitted. After I tried to escape, I was shut in a room with a cult member, who was supposed to beat me with a guitar. He only pretended to beat me, banging the guitar against the wall and floor, instead. When the door opened, I pretended to be beaten into submission. Then I fixed my face in a neutral expression and answered with full submission when the cult members questioned me. They were convinced of my submission and gave me a white robe to wear. I even had to give up writing in my paper journal, but since I was a new cult member and asked if writing was okay--I was careful to write non-critical things--I was forgiven and not punished.

At the end of the dream, I was allowed a visit with my father, who was in a wheelchair. He was weak from having continually resisted the cult and being mistreated. They roughly wheeled him into my room, hinting he wouldn't make it through the night. The next day they deposited his empty wheelchair outside of my room. I knew they had killed him after our visit.

I usually resent being awakened by the 'phone, but this time I was glad.

Comments

[iswari.livejournal.com]

Oh no! I'd want to be woken up from that, too...

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Hey, how are you feeling?!?

[rockbirthedme.livejournal.com]

That is a seriously nasty dream, the adult version of being chased by monsters. Especially for you, because expressing yourself is such an important part of your life. I'm glad the phone rang.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

It has been some time since I've had a dream like that one. But the dream may have been a delayed reaction to a positive experience I had on Saturday, where I was amongst people with whom I felt free to fully express myself. Outside of my family, I have not felt that way in months.

[lilrongal.livejournal.com]

What a terrible dream. But what a beautiful self-portrait!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I recently joined selfportraits, and that has inspired me to be imaginative about taking self-portraits. You might like it, too, Ms. Cam-Goddess. ;-)

[verucas-chaos.livejournal.com]

Wow. That is some dream. Kind of puts me in mind of tales such as Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. Scarey. Whenever I dream like this I just can't help but wonder where it came from...

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

It reminds me of The Handmaid's Tale, too, except there was nothing about sex and childbirth.

[arkadelos.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I am glad the dream is over. It is too reminiscent of the total oppression that many people have faced in history and continue to face.

Might I add a suggestion... it is possible to change your dreams. I have never tried it, but I have heard about it. That the certain cult member pretended to beat you seems to me that this individual does not agree completely with the cult. Perhaps this member was once trapped like yourself who was forced to join the system and work with the system.

If you have this dream again, try to change it through this person. This person reminded me of someone trapped in the system and forced to become part of the system but not wanting to be part of the system at the same time. It reminds me of what I am reading in The Lucifer Effect and also some of the book about Aum Shinrikyo.

[here-2-read.livejournal.com]

What a creepy dream. I'm glad you were woken up.

[denimpeanut.livejournal.com]

Very strange and disturbing. What do you make of it?

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I think it is a delayed reaction to an event I attended on Saturday night. That night I was able to freely express my thoughts on certain things without fear of being condescended to or having my intelligence insulted. I left the event feeling freer than I had in months. I am very aware of not being free to do that outside of that event, and part of me fears the entire country is going in that direction. So the meaning of the dream is quite clear and not the least bit surprising. I just was caught off guard by it.