My Boundaries, Let Me Show You Them

[wlotus]

"Do not contact me again," when said in October of 2001, does not translate to, "When I have blocked you over the years from my Myspace, Facebook, LiveJournal, and email accounts, feel free to search me out on Twitter at a later date and add me to your feed." Thank goodness for Twitter's "Block" feature.

For an author, he sure has a lot of problems with comprehension. ::rolls eyes::

ETA, 2:23 PM
I unblocked him just long enough to send this message to my entire Twitter feed:
@warriorpoet7749 This is your 1st and last warning. Link to or contact me in any way again, and I am going to the police.

Stalking is not cool, and after I spoke with labyrinthnight I realized that is exactly what he is doing to me. Abuse thrives on secrecy, on the victim not telling others, on the victim thinking they are responsible for keeping that person in check. I call bullshit and throw the curtains wide open to reveal him as the stalker he is. That is also why I have made this post public. I banned his LJ account, warriorpoet7, when he created it back in 2005 just to contact me. (The 1 comment his profile says he posted? Yeah, that was to my LJ.)

labyrinthnight is right: all of that reactive and preemptive banning is too much trouble to go through; the law can handle him. I told him almost 8 years ago not to contact me again, and I have not contacted him since then. That email should have been enough. But since then I have had to ban him from here, from an old email account (which is now deleted), and now from Twitter, on top of preemptively banning him from my other online sites.

This post will serve as a record to myself, for when I have to make good on my promise to go to the authorities.

Comments

[tracied.livejournal.com]

lol at the icon.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I like that icon a lot. :-)

You'd think he would get the message by now. But a control freak remains a control freak, unless and until they choose to check their entitlement at the door.

[balmofgilead.livejournal.com]

I lol at it too but I've been hanging out with some trans (FTM) men lately and thinking about it vis-à-vis them gives me pause.



But yikes, that is some major comprehension FAIL on this guy's part.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I hadn't thought about the icon in the sense of FTM men. How dare you make me think on a Saturday?!? :-)

Oh, there is no comprehension fail on his part. He comprehends...and simply does not care what I want or what I think is appropriate. All the more reason for me to stay far, far away from him.

[balmofgilead.livejournal.com]

How dare you make me think on a Saturday?!? :-)

Heheh.

I'm not trying to be all righteously outraged--it just popped into my head because some of my Scrabble buddies are FTM men or are partnered with FTM men, and last night they were discussing feminism from the FTM perspective. Some FTM men are dicks, apparently, but these guys aren't. (One walked out of a trans meetup group because of the misogyny that was going on.)

By the way...

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

You may want to read my update to this post.

[rockbirthedme.livejournal.com]

I hear some history there. (No, that is not a hint.) Sounds to me as though you're smart enough and strong enough to stick with a decision, even after quite a bit of time, when you know the original circumstances haven't changed. Go, you.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

In a word, yes. (http://wlotus.livejournal.com/1217913.html) After I ended things with him due to his irresponsibility and sense of entitlement--he expected others to rescue him from messes of his own making--he began putting similar pressure on me to let him back into my life on his own terms in his own time, even though I was very clear that I wished to remain merely distant acquaintances. After 2-1/2 years of that bullshit, I told him to never contact me again. From time to time he finds me online (as he did on Twitter), and I shut him out without a word. When I join a social networking site I usually search for and block him before it even becomes an issue.

I would say, "You'd think he would get the message," but he gets the message. It's that he does not care about the message. I am supposed to play by his rules, not the other way around.

My middle finger, let me show you it. :-)

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

You may want to read my update to this post.

[rockbirthedme.livejournal.com]

Well, thank the deity of your choice for labyrinthnight. She has a nice piece of good, solid common sense there. *sits back to admire the second smart lady a bit*

I might add, make sure you follow up. If he contacts you again and you don't contact the police, he'll just have one more reason to think you don't really mean it. Threats have no meaning to him, I'm sure.

I have to go watch a ten-year-old try out her brand-new geared bike now.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with you. That is why I would not have said that to him, if I had not meant to follow through.

In situations like this, I don't make threats. I make promises.

Good luck to the ten-year-old!!!!!!!!!!

[verucas-chaos.livejournal.com]

Stalking, no matter how it's done, is NOT cool. You must definitely go to the authorities if it continues!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I had a dream about it last night! This was obviously on my mind. Don't worry: I will do whatever I have to do to enforce my boundaries, and my family is here to back me up.

[ciardhapagan.livejournal.com]

There was some creepy misogynist guy I remember harassing another feminist friend of mine on livejournal that I know was called warriorpoet (don't remember if there was a number after the name, but I remember that part of the username. I wonder if it was the same jerk, just creating another? username.) I banned that guy from ever commenting in my lj as a precaution.

[mage-girl.livejournal.com]

OK.

I'm just gonna go get my whupping stick and do some business.

Word.


K.

ps--what a presumptious ass. Like I need to hear about one more male with control issues and entitlement bullshit, too.

Honestly....

Whupping stick.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

I like whupping sticks applied to presumptuous males who suffer from control and entitlement overload.

[tuluum.livejournal.com]

omg. i hate stalkers... i hate the control they try to have over our routines and thoughts. good on you for exposing him through this post and then moving forward regardless.