Regrouping

[wlotus]

My brain is slowly waking up from a dense fog. Snippets of the past nine days are floating around in a disjointed cloud. The call about my uncle's death. Hitting a pothole that night and putting my bike out of commission. A couple of motorcycle rides. Wilting in the blistering heat one day last week at the waterfront. Saturday afternoon's brief memorial service. Attending church yesterday morning. Spending hours on my feet yesterday afternoon/evening at NYC's LGBT Pride celebration. (Why was I awake until nearly 1 AM uploading photos?) Waking briefly when T arose at 5 this morning for work. (Thank you, earplugs!) Finally rolling over at 8 AM groggy as all get-out and feeling as though I was hung over, though I can't remember the last time I had a drink.

T says it's the heat and humidity. shutterbug says it's the emotional highs and lows of the past week. I say they are both right.

It feels good to be working, again. The day-to-day routine is helping life come back into focus. Outside of myself I have a house to keep, a class to take, a budget to keep balanced, and a partner to care for. Outside of that I have family and friends to relate to. And there are photography endeavors I have left hanging for a while that I'd like to work on. My brain was too shaken to focus much on anyone else for the past week, but bit by bit I am able to reach out and grab hold of the tendrils of others' lives and reattach myself to them. I think I'll be alright.

Thank you for your patience.



Regrouping
27 June 2010

Comments

[shutterbug.livejournal.com]

Apparently that shutterbug has some interesting things to say. *pats self on the back*

In all seriousness, the rollercoaster ride of emotions you've been on for the last nine days has been rough on your equilibrium, just like a real rollercoaster ride. It takes time to settle back in for "real life" after something like this. I mean, there is the loss of your favorite uncle, the ability (and relief?) that you got to pass on your message of love for him, and then the excitement of belonging at the LGBT festivities. Even when you don't have to consciously process, your mind is still doing the work. Recovery (or re-establishing equilibrium) is different for everyone.

Do you ever get headaches after you cry? I think your "hangover" is just a larger example of that feeling. I know there's something chemical in grief and excitement. It's okay. *hug*

[acoustics1220.livejournal.com]

Take all the time you need.

I think both reasons are true as well. Take care of yourself. *hugs*